[[ Both Slurping,
Loudly ]
- [ Belches, Sighs ]
Good luck, Spud.
- Cheers, cowboy.
-Now remember, if
they think you're not trying, you're in trouble, right? First hint of that, and
they'll be onto the D.H.S.S., "This cunt is not trying." And your
giro's fuckin' finished, right?
- Right.
- But, then again,
try too hard--
- You might get the
fuckin' job.
- [ Chuckles ]
Exactly.
- Nightmare.
- It's a tightrope,
Spud. It's a fuckin' tightrope.
-See, I just get pure
shy with the interviewer cats. I get all nervous. I can't answer any of their questions,
like I'm a footballer...and I get nerves on the big occasion, man.
- Try some of this,
Spud.
- Yeah, a little dab
of speed is just the ticket, mate.
-No, I went to
Craignewton. I just put down Royal Edinburgh College to help get the job. There's too much
discrimination in this town, man. They're both schools, right? We're all in
this together. And I wanted to put across the general idea, rather than the
details. Like people get all hung up on details. Like which school did I go to?
How many grades did I get? Could be like six. Could be none. It's not
important. What is important is that I am, yes?
- Mr. Murphy, do you
mean that you lied on your application?
- No-- Well, yes. Only
to get my foot in the door. Showing initiative
and that like.
-But you were
referred here by the Department of Employment. There was no need for you to get your "foot in the door," as you put it.
-Yeah, cool. Whatever
you say. Sorry. You're the man, the dude in the chair. I am merely here-- Like,
well, obviously, I'm here like, but--
-Mr. Murphy, what
exactly attracts you to the leisure industry?
-In a word, pleasure.
Like, my pleasure in
other people's leisure.
-Do you see yourself as
having any weaknesses?
-Oh, yes, 'cause,
like, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, actually! Yes, I am. See, for me, it's got
to be the best, or it's nothing at all. Like things get a bit dodgy, I just
cannot be bothered. But, hey, I'm getting good vibes about this interview thing
today, though, man. Seems to me like it's going pretty well, eh?
-Thank you, Mr.
Murphy. We'll let you know.
- The pleasure was
mine, man.
[ Renton Narrating ] -Spud
had done well. I was proud of him.
- Thanks. Ooh, sorry.
- He fucked up good
and proper. You had to hand it to Spud.
